Sorry, I realized I was missing the teachings being given, so I started back at the first post. Reviewing it twice so far. Now there appears to be some clarity, but experiencing a block in writing words. One awakening was a "self" thinking (Nihilist)"I'll never be free from suffering." One (eternalist) is saying "you already have freedom." Both are empty in every direction one looks. With no real fruit, the conceptual mind still shouting protocols of it's own making. Yes, real fruit is the skillful means in the wonderful teachings. Thank you. Also seeing, I've been pushing away my conceptual mind instead of embracing it as a notch in some sort of key of liberation.